not so long

It's been mighty quiet around here this semester. I just haven't been in a posting mood, plus this semester (while nothing like the Terrible Great Big Devouring Monster that was Spring 2010) has been rather demanding. But. The end, friends, at last heaves into sight.

I graduate on May 13 or 14.

That's 6 1/2 months away.

It sounds like a long time when I say it like that, but it's starting to feel pretty close. Especially given the fact that next semester will be so, so much easier-- I'll be two graduate Lit classes, which are all I need to graduate, plus painting and dance (which have essentially no homework) just for fun. Think of that! Only two classes with homework. I might actually (gasp) have time to read. And keep the house clean. And paint the guest bedroom. And actually have conversations with people. I can't even fathom it, and yet it's only a foreshadowing of the beauties of Life After School, that large, slightly frightening, but ultimately friendly monster.

I'm starting to think of things I'll be able to do again. The life I'll get back. For the first time practically ever, I'll be in charge of what I do with my days. This is terrifying to me-- what if I'm incapable of making good choices?-- but mostly so, so exciting. I'm starting to think through what kind of life I want to make for myself all over again, with this brand-new perspective.

A few things I'm looking forward to about life after graduation:

listening to music (so much of my time goes to homework that I pretty much don't ever listen to music anymore)

being able to clean my house whenever it needs it

enjoying things slowly

checking books out from the library and actually reading them

journaling

serving Dan better

I believe

in

silence

hot showers

picture books

lists

matches

the public library

blue notes

pencil sharpeners

vintage dresses

Elwood

buttered toast

a few observations

Dr. Pepper keeps trying to pull me back into its addictive clutches. The fact that I get them free at work doesn't help.

I am completely hooked on Bossa Nova. The more authentic, the better.

After her recent incredibly profane and unprofessional tirade, Serena Williams should no longer be playing tennis. I get annoyed when I see pictures of her, and I don't like it when she wins.

I can't stand commercials, whether they be TV or radio. No matter what they say or show or quote, all they really care about and all it really boils down to is, "spend money and spend it here." And there are so many of them. I just don't watch/listen to them anymore.

Staying up until 4:00 in the morning Sunday night watching movies with Caitlin was, ironically, the smartest thing I've done so far this week.

And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?

A this-and-thatish sort of post. . .

Thanksgiving with the Greens was SO MUCH FUN. I'm glad I like my inlaws as much as I do. (I do!)

It's a lovely cold-and-rainy day here, and while driving wasn't much fun it sure was wonderful to come home from school and have some tea and honey in the drizzly quiet, with train sounds from the freightyard every so often. I don't know what it is about the train whistle+rain combination, but it is evocative of so many things I can't quite understand but can feel. It's gotten really truly cold here at last. We woke this morning to find that the row of crape myrtles in our front yard have turned the most breathtaking mustard-gold color, tinged with crimson. I keep staring at them.

Since I'm starting to run out of schoolwork, I'm getting back into couponing this week. I stopped doing it when we moved because I didn't have time, but the great thing is that since I couponed so much over the summer we had a lot of basic supplies stockpiled and we've bought basically no household items other than food all semester-- no shampoo, toothpaste, razors, or anything like that. Today I did my first CVS deal since August, and let me tell you it was a great'un, even though I didn't have any extrabucks to start with. Here's an outline for those of you who might be interested (I guess that means you, Rebekah. . .): my total was $37, then I got it down to $21 with coupons. I paid that with a gift card, and got back $18 in extrabucks! $18, all in one fell swoop! It was so much fun. I'm officially back in the game now.

Last night I had trouble sleeping, and when I have trouble sleeping my brain likes to amuse itself by pestering me with unpleasantness. The variety of unpleasantness it chose last night was to drag up memories of almost-regrets. You know what I mean? Those things you've done, or said, or didn't do, or didn't say, that you don't quite regret, but which make you feel just a bit squiffly around the edges. If you thought about them long and hard enough you might start regretting them, just a little, but you'd have to take them very seriously, more seriously than they seem to deserve. And that's the trouble. At that time of night actual regrets are much less troublesome, because you know exactly what you think about them: you've processed them, you've decided that the incident was worth regretting, and thus you've been able to package it up and store it away in a little cubbyhole where it can sit out of sight and not cause mischief. These squiffly thoughts, however, aren't so easy to process. So they poke around in odd places in your brain and start making faces at you when you least expect it. Some of the things I was thinking about last night I haven't thought about in ages and really had almost forgotten. But my brain's awfully good at making trouble so it's no wonder it was able to dig them all up and dust them off to show them to me.

(explanation of title: I'm listening to a recording of various poems in my car this week, and Jabberwocky is on it. I love it ever so dearly.)

(One-two, one-two, and through and through,/His vorpal sword went snicker-snack!)